Well it is day twelve and it is not going well. If you notice, I skipped 3 more days in writing about this challenge. There are a few reasons that contribute.
1. I have no time! I am very new at this blogging thing. I created this blog 13 days ago to be exact. I have no idea how moms manage to blog so much. I follow a ton of “mommy bloggers” who post several times a day as well as keep up on on-going giveaways and update their Facebook page every few hours. I do not know how they do that!? My kids constantly need my attention. I also can’t write with noise. It is never quiet in my house. My computer desk is in the living room and it is not an option to move it elsewhere as the computer is the source of our TV shows. So nothing can get done. I can’t even sit on the couch or at the table and write on paper. It just doesn’t happen. Not with a little two year old who can’t leave mommy ALONE!
2. I am not doing very well at this no yelling thing. I do have a few “Yey! I handled that with out yelling,” moments but they are soon followed by an explosion from keeping those emotions in. I realize that I should probably write about the good and the bad moments but, again, refer back to reason one. There just isn’t time.
Today I only have time to write because my wonderful husband took the kids to his parents for the day so mommy could be alone. The past three days have been so hard and tiring that I just couldn’t handle it anymore. Those moments happen to me sometimes. Where I take a good look at everything and think “I don’t know if I can do this anymore.” My husband is usually so good at noticing when I am at this point. Today he even said it right too me. “I don’t know if it’s just me but you seem a bit off today.”
He was so right. I had actually kind of shut off. I was dressing the kids, feeding them lunch, braking up fights, and walking around the house sort of like a zombie. I was just “going through the motions” with no actual emotion. That’s when I knew I needed a break.
I hate feeling like this. It is so over whelming and kind of scary. I’m here but not really here. Almost like I’m on the out side looking in at someone who’s not really me going through daily life on auto play.
Can anyone relate? Am I completely alone in feeling this way? Anyone have any thoughts or suggestions? I would love some feed back.