The Dreadful O of OCD

I don’t usually like to reblog but this is such a great post about OCD, as well as the articles she links to. I have the desire to explain my condition to my friends and family but I can not find the right way. I suffer more from obsessions than I do from compulsions. I am not obsessed with germs and I am not organized or clean. In fact, I am embarrassed by my house and rarely invite people over. It’s hard for me to make new friends because I’m at that age where you invite your new friend and their spouse and kids to your house for diners and set up play dates for the children. But just the thought of getting my house ready for company stresses me out. I have dark thoughts all the time and the way she describes “feeling as guilty as a rapist, a pedophile, or a murderer … when you haven’t even left your room” is exactly how I feel. It’s hard stepping out and revealing this part of me. I haven’t really “found my voice yet” as she says so I will let this speak for me for now.


My friend Janet over at OCDtalk recently blogged about how, so often, all people know of obsessive-compulsive disorder are the visible compulsions, as opposed to the invisible obsessions.  And back in November, The Atlantic also posted about the debilitating nature of obsessions.

As I’ve said before, “If it doesn’t hurt, it’s not OCD.”

OCD begins with obsessions.  Compulsions are actually just a monstrous side effect of OCD.

Source: deviantART "Torture" by eWKn Source: deviantART
“Torture” by eWKn

Compulsive hand-washing is hard to hide.  Hoarding, definitely.  Even repetitive reassurance-seeking and confession (compulsions of choice for a Pure-O) are easy to notice once someone points it out to you.

But it’s harder to see the obsessions that are driving them.

Imagine the deep horror of constantly imagining you’ll hurt someone you love.  Or the intense mind-screw of questioning a part of your identity that you’ve always gripped tightly.  Or feeling as guilty as a rapist, a…

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