Presence in the Night- Flash Fiction

I didn’t know who he was, but he was definitely not my husband. As I stared, not sure if I was seeing correctly, my vision blurred from heavy slumber, the dark shape moved towards me. I reached over to the right side of the bed only to find it vacant, cold. My heart kept time violently within my tightened chest.

“Who are you?” I managed to cough out.

The dark shape said nothing as it moved closer to me, a mere fleshy statue frozen in fear. My children were in the next room. My racing thoughts flashed pictures of their lifeless bodies on the floor, helpless babes against such a large person. I have to get to them. My eyes veered past the giant-like figure. There was no escaping.

As he drew closer the street lamp outside my window, the only thing lending light to the room, began to dim. A chill ran across my skin causing my hair to rise and pull at their follicles, almost like they were trying to escape my body, to save themselves from was about to happen. There was not a sound to be heard, not even his footsteps. I tried to scream but to no avail. My vocal chords went limp like the loosened strings of a violin, allowing no shrill sound to alert the neighbors. I forced myself to look the intruder straight in the face as he stood at my bedside. The sheer darkness settled in the room masking him from my view. All that was left was a strong presence. The only words I can use to describe it, PURE EVIL. It was as though I was feeling every horrible thing all at once. Deep sadness, hot anger, hopelessness, dread, fear. The sheer hopelessness alone was enough to beg for death. The fear began to suffocate me. As I struggled to breathe, throat tightening all on its own, I prayed. Please God, save my children.

My head began to buzz at the lack of oxygen. The end was surely near now. The buzzing became louder, deafening. I closed my eyes. I could feel a heaviness hovering right above my face.

“Wake up,” a deep voice rasped.

My fear was overwhelming.

“WAKE UP!” This time it was the familiar voice of my husband.

My eyes shot open to see his concerned face just above mine, his hands griping my arms so tight they ached. An agonized groan escaped my lips turning into uncontrollable sobs as he wrapped me in his warm embrace.

“It’s OK. It was just a dream.” But it hadn’t felt like it. Lingering, heavy dread saturated the room. The being’s presence was still there. I continued to sob, choking on my tears and gasping for breath.

“Shhhh. Amazing Grace how sweet the sound…. I once was lost but now I’m found…” my husband sang softly. My body began to calm as the lyrics blanketed me in ever-growing peace.

“It was just a dream,” I breathed, “just a dream.”


This was the first of two entries for FINISH THAT THOUGHT #2-44. I was double inspired by last weeks prompt. My story didn’t place but the judge did have some good things to say about it.

Presence in the Night – realmommaramblings – And here’s another of the brilliantly creepy stories this week. Reading this, I struggled to breathe, feeling that familiar suffocation of a semi-dream state. You know the dream. The one where you’re paralyzed and a shadow is hovering over you, your chest won’t expand to bring in oxygen, and then you’re falling and the ground is coming up fast and then…you’re awake. Only the vision clings to your mind, leaving you to check the closets and under beds. Nicely done. ” —Foy S. Iver