Shaken Foundation

Over at Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie they challenged us to do a Loop Poem or a Shadorma.

Loop Poem Guidelines

1)  No restrictions on the number of stanzas or the syllable count for each line;

2)  For each stanza, the last word of the first line becomes the first word of line two,
the last word of line 2 becomes the first word of line 3,
and the last word of line 3 becomes the first word of line 4;

3)  The rhyme scheme is abcb.

 

Shadorma: a non-rhyming six-line poem with a syllable count of 3 / 5/ 3 / 3 / 7 / 5.

 

For this challenge I decide to do a combined poem. First and third standzas are Loop and second and fourth are Shadorama.

 

wojciech-siudmak-door-wikiart

 

Heaven seems unattainable

Unattainable to only me

Me who can’t seem to separate real from fake

Fake like the voices that won’t let me be

 

I can’t seem

To hold on to You

I have lost

My will to

Fight against these pressing doubts

So where do I stand?

 

Where do I place my feet?

Feet that can no longer hold me up

Up, where I should be facing

Facing You, holding my empty cup

 

I’m tired

I have lost my strength

Who am I?

Who are you?

What do I have left with out

The faith I once had?

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Ambition (Ya-Du)

This is my first attempt at a Ya-Du, an ancient Burmese poetic form. I had never heard of it before until I was challenged over at mindlovemiserysmenagerie.

This was a real challenge for me. I had many failed tries but I think I finally accomplished it.

Here are the guidelines for a Ya-Du:

1.  Lines 1, 2, 3, and 4 have four syllables;
2.  Line 5 has 5, 7, 9, or 11 syllables;
3.  Lines 4 and 5 have end rhyme;
4.  Lines 1, 2, and 3 have climbing rhyme in syllables 4, 3, and 2;
5.  Lines 3, 4, and 5 have climbing rhyme in syllables 4, 3, and 2;
6.  There should be a reference to the seasons or nature.

Here is my poem (I color coded the rhyming scheme.)

The limit, sky
Dreams will fly, reach
Don’t cry, breach walls
And each day wake
With new ambition, your life’s at stake

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This is in response to B&P’s Shadorma & Beyond.

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After reading the rules again I realize that I messed up the rhyming scheme. Lines 3,4, and 5 are supposed to have climbing rhyme…not 2,3, and 4. Fail. Oh well. I will post this anyway because I worked so hard and I like this poem.