Endless Possibilities for Terrible Outcomes

Photo by Gidget
Photo by Gidget

There’s too many. Chest tightens. Throat closes.
Can’t… Breathe. They mock me, grinning with closed mouths.
Choices, choices. All leading to someone’s death. I…just… can’t.


Submitted for #3linethursday week forty-five

This is My Life

I have made some pretty big choices in my life.


  •     I got engaged at a young age. Because of this I drifted from my best friend.


  •   I didn’t go to college even though I got accepted.


  •     I stayed in my small town that I swore I would get out of as soon as possible.


  •     I didn’t pursue writing like I always wanted to do.




        Looking at each choice and where I am now because of it, I don’t think I would change anything.


          I drifted from my best friend. I got engaged when I was still in high school. While she was still going to concerts and hanging in her parent’s basement after we graduated I was getting an apartment, getting a full time job, and thinking about my future with my husband. We were in two different places. Our relationship became strained because our priorities had changed. Even though I miss her and miss the times we had we are now two completely different people. It was best for both of us that we grew apart and did our own thing.


          My husband and I got accepted into a mission’s college about a year after we got married. We were so excited to go on adventures and help people. But we were doing it for the wrong reasons. I had recently lost a child and I think we were using school as a chance to run away from our grief. I am so glad we didn’t go because even though being a missionary is a great thing, if we weren’t really called to be missionaries we could have done more harm then good. God definitely intervened in this situation. He blessed me with another child and our window for attending the school had closed. If we would have gone I wouldn’t have my wonderful Spunky Boy.


          In high school my biggest dream was leaving this small town. As a teenager this town was boring, small, and in my eyes nothing happened here. I thought that I couldn’t amount to anything if I stayed. But if I would have left I would not have the great support system I have. Both mine and my husband’s families have been great with our kids by offering baby sitting and support when we needed it. If we had moved I never would have met one of my best friends. And even though she ended up moving 12 hours away we are still as close as ever. If we would have moved I would not have been able to care for my mother when she was diagnosed with cancer. If we had moved I would not be apart of my wonderful church family. So many things would be different.


          I never pursued my writing but if I was being really honest with myself, looking at the things I wrote, I wasn’t that good. Now by pursuing it I might have improved and become great. Who knows? I lost my passion for writing sometime after high school and I am just now wanting to get back into it. Maybe I wasn’t meant to write at that time. Maybe the time is now. Who knows?


          So in conclusion, I may not have done things as once planned. But I have a wonderful husband, two amazing children, great friends, family that live close, and a great church. I live in this great small town that I appreciate now that I am an adult. There is a great sense of community, fun festivals, and great small businesses to support. I am pleased with the way my life turned out. Yes I may have liked my life that “would have been” had I made different decisions, but I will never know so why dwell on it?



*This post is in response to The Daily Post Daily Writing Prompt:  I Did it My Way.*