To be completely honest, he is my most difficult child. I struggle some days to get through to him, to relate to him. We both have anxiety but our anxieties couldn’t be more different, So I have trouble understanding his insecurities even though I struggle too.
But I still love him, and will continue my journey as his mom.
The Prompt: “write a poem re-telling a family anecdote that has stuck with you over time. It could be the story of the time your Uncle Louis caught a home run ball, the time your Cousin May accidentally brought home a coyote and gave it a bath, thinking it was a stray dog, or something darker (or even sillier).”
I don’t have any stories that stick out in my mind at the moment so I chose to write about fond summer memories instead.
-Make you feel alone, even in a room full of people.
-Make you feel like a burden to you family and friends.
-Make you lose interest in doing the things you enjoy.
-Make you angry at nothing at all.
-Cause unprovoked hostility toward the people you love.
-Cause strain on your relationships.
-Leave you with no ambition.
-Make you feel unable to do everyday tasks like household chores, taking care of yourself and/or children, or going into work.
-Make you tired, so tired that getting out of bed is the hardest thing you’ll do all day, if you can manage to do it at all.
-Make you physically sick (e.g. body aches, unexplained pain, upset stomach, nausea, extreme fatigue).
-Make you question truths that you once held on to.
-Make you think that not being here would be best for everyone.
Depression is a very lonely condition. Even when you have people who care about you and people who would be willing to listen, you can still feel like they just wouldn’t understand. You feel judged. Sometimes you can recognize that there really is nothing wrong, that your life isn’t that bad, and yet you feel absolutely hopeless and awful and you now feel guilty and want to scream JUST GET OVER YOURSELF! but it doesn’t help and only makes you feel worse.
Depression is hard to understand if you’ve never had it. It can make you(the un-depressed) frustrated and angry at your loved one who, sometimes, seems like they’re just faking it. You might think they are being selfish.
You need to know that they are suffering. They don’t want to feel this way. No one wishes for depression. We know your penitence and understanding is a lot to ask for sometimes. We know what our condition does to those we love and we hate it, just as much as you do.
This story got an Honorable Mention over at The Angry Hourglass. The picture below was our inspiration. Scroll to the bottom to see what our judge, Brian S Creek, had to say.
I feel trapped in a box here. I don’t know who I am or who I want to be. I need some time away. So, I’ve joined a carnival to be the Tea Cup Ride attendant. I know what you’re thinking. “How can you find yourself, chained to a ride in the hot sun?” But I need a change of scenery. I’ve told you I want to travel. Twelve cities in three months! I need variety and this town, population 1200, just isn’t cutting it. I will be back in time for school. That is unless I meet a cute guy and elope.
Judges thoughts: “Caitlin played with the format and only used one third of the allowed word count but it all works brilliantly. My favourite thing was the outside-the-box take on the prompt, using the cup to represent the carnival ride.”