I gave up Facebook for a week.
In my post Disconnect to Reconnect, I explained that I was giving up Facebook for one week as a way to disconnect from what
was becoming had become an obsession in my life.
Facebook had become a part of my identity and that was not ok. It was taking me away from God and I was counting other’s opinions greater than His. I felt like he wanted me to take a break. I needed a real connection with people. I needed a better connection with God.
So how did my week go?
I am glad you asked…oh, you didn’t? Well, let me tell you anyway.
I am going to be honest here and say that it was not easy for me. I was so used to sharing everything with everyone, so to suddenly have to stop doing that I had to catch myself before reaching for my phone to post anything. It took about three days before I no longer pulled my phone out to check Facebook. I even once accidentally opened Facebook up. The sad thing is that I was going on my phone to search something on google but my “muscle memory”, if you will, automatically went to the bookmark on my browser and BAM there it was starting at me with the hypnotic red notification symbol begging me to click on it and see what was going on in the “world“. I got out immediately and deleted the bookmark so it wouldn’t happen again.
I struggled a bit with the feeling of loneliness. I liked sharing about my day or my random thoughts and knowing that others were reading it and being a part of my life. So when I had a cool thought or witty comment or even an accomplishment, it was almost heartbreaking that I had to keep it to myself. No one could share it with me. And when you spend most of your day at home with a 2-year-old it get’s lonely often.
My main goal was to give up this thing that was taking up my time and devote some of that time to God.
That did not happen. Truthfully, I busied myself with other things. Satin took advantage of that. Last week was full of spiritual attacks. From thoughts of doubt, to self-hatred. Even temptation, putting things in my mind that shouldn’t be there. He has been pushing against me a lot these past few months especially since I have been taking steps in the direction I know God wants me to go. This week, he worked overtime it seems. I got so tired of walking against this strong current that I just let it take me for a bit. I am angry at myself for not pushing forward. But what’s done is done. I need to pick up and keep going. God gave me certain talents and dreams and I intend to follow through.
God still used this week for good though. By disconnecting I was able to reconnect with a friend. She lives literally two blocks from me. We go to the same church and see each other most Sundays. But we hardly ever talk. Between her schedule (she travels a lot for her job) and mine we never saw each other except on the Sunday mornings she could make it to church. We did how ever “connect” through Facebook. She posted all the time and I would like and comment as would she on my statuses. But that was the extent of our friendship.
When I posted my last status letting everyone know that I was giving up Facebook for a while, she texted me and asked to meet up for coffee. So we got together and talked for about 2 hours (with many interruptions from my 2-year-old). There was so much we were missing in each other’s lives by just seeing the highlights on Facebook. I had no idea how much she had been struggling in her marriage and in her relationship with God. I was heart broken that I let that slip past me. She also had no idea of the things I had been going through and how much I was struggling spiritually as well. It was a very good talk. We were able to get everything out. (I even cried a little.)
After that day we have continued to text and pray for each other. When she hears a song that makes her think of what we are going through she sends it to me. [It truly amazes me how much God is using music in my life, even in my relationships. It is such a great way to communicate!] We have also taken steps to start some new small group studies in church dealing with some issues that have been troubling not just us, but many others in our congregation. Things like spiritual warfare.
I didn’t think that this challenge was going to be easy, and it hasn’t been. But I made it one week with out Facebook. Bad things did happen but God is a Gracious God and good is coming out of that week.
What are my goals now?
I am back on Facebook but I am trying not to check it as often. I am also not posting everything that pops into my head. I stop and think about what I want to post. Also, the desire to post everything has left. I will continue to seek God’s help as to not let it rule my life again.