Day 23 : The Truth is…

Sometimes a new haircut and a meal out by yourself is all you need to melt off a little stress.


“The truth is” – A daily post where I share a truth. It could be something personal, it could be something funny, or something totally random…you never know what you are going to get.

Sometimes I just feel like putting things out there…and here seemed like the best place to do it.

Day 13 : The Truth is… a #poem

just a moment of

weary-eyed conversation

before our eyes close

is all we can manage some days





“The truth is” is a new daily post where I share a truth. It could be  something personal, it could be something funny, or something totally random…you never know what you are going to get.

Sometimes I just feel like putting things out there…and here seemed like the best place to do it.

Where Has the Summer Gone??

It’s September 7th!

Summer is gone, my kids have started school, and pumpkin spice is threatening to take over the world. (Ahem… can I get apple pie or maple syrup flavored coffee please??)

I do not feel like I have accomplished anything I wanted to this summer. I look at my blog and see the last post was the end of June and I’m like “WHERE ARE ALL MY AWSOME POSTS I WROTE???” Oh, right. They were all written in my head and I never actually sat down and wrote them out.

It’s been a crazy  4 weeks for my family and I wish I had the time to blog through it. With my husband falling ill and struggling with full blown lyme disease I have had no extra me time to sit and write. (Although on a night he was feeling ok I escaped my house and joined a beginners hockey team for adults. Whhhhaaatt? High school dream of playing hockey achieved!!!!)

Honestly I have feet like a horrible wife because my depression, anxiety, and OCD gets in the way of me being a good caregiver. I promised to be there for him in sickness but I have gotten angry and impatient at times and can barely hold it together through this whole ordeal. But really, at the root of it all,  I truly hate seeing my husband so helpless and sick, unable to do the things he desperately loves to do. Some days it’s a struggle for him to hobble around the house. All he wishes he could do is go on a run or join kung fu with our boys. I’m watching him struggle with daily tasks and standing back as he pushes himself to go to work even though his hips hurt, his legs ache, and he can only hear out of one ear. And all I want to do it make him stay home and rest. He is an active person. He hates being still for long but after an 8 hour day at work all he can do is sit. (This past week has been better though, Praise the Lord! He has been able to walk short distances and had energy to do a few things around the house.)

All this to say that it’s been a struggle, that last month of summer really gave us hell. I feel like my family was sucker punched in the gut.

But we are still standing… sorta.



“We gather here, today,

to unite this man and this woman in

Holy matrimony…”

Fingers lace

a perfect fit,


imperfect lives

“Two are better than ONE…”

ONE is better than two

Together, we

are “a force to reckon with”

You plus me




A quadrille for dVerse ~Poets Pub.

Written for NaPoWriMo Day Twenty-Three.





And She Does

On Friday everything changed. I was no longer the little girl my father adored. I was a bargaining chip, a promise for a deal.

My view of this world had finally been unveiled, reveling many shades of greed.

I looked at the man smiling in front of me. I could see his plans written in the corners of his mouth, reflected in the dark chocolate windows to his rotting soul.

As I said my vows in the room of silent witnesses, I made a secret one of my own.

One day I would kill this man, setting free the world.



This is the second (read first one here) story I submitted for the Flashverary contest over at Flash! Friday.

Our story requirements:

Must be exactly 100 words

Must start with “On Friday everything changed

Lies Under The Carpet

The images didn’t reflect in your eyes.
Your face was completely innocent,
and so was your voice.
I never saw it coming.
I guess I forgot how much of a struggle it was.
It never left?
How could I have been so naive?
Now, no matter what you say,
“It’s not your fault”
I can’t help but see my short-comings that could have led you down that path again.
I’m so sorry if my neglect has caused this.
Sometimes I lose my head,
but I guess the trust we once had  is gone…
Not like the lies swept under the carpet.
I trusted you…was I wrong too?
It baffles me how this could have gone on for so long.
It never even crossed my mind.

I’ll Swim For You

These past few weeks have been hard for me. MY OCD and depression have flared up again after having gone on a short hiatus. I had been doing really well for about two months. I had very few obsessive thoughts and the ones I did have I was able to push through with out compulsions. But a few weeks ago, maybe a month, I started to get depressed again and the thoughts were plaguing my mind. I had all kinds of doubts about a lot of things.

Two Sundays ago I got so tired that I just couldn’t move forward. I had obligations to the praise band but I just didn’t want to go. So I went upstairs and fell asleep. Running Man sort of knew what was going on so he just got the kids ready and took them to church. He told people I wasn’t feeling well…which was true. I was feeling awful. But being home alone allowed more intrusive thoughts to ensue. When he got home I was a mess.

That night, Spunky Boy got sick so we were stuck inside the next day. It didn’t take long for Monkey Boy to catch it. We ended up stuck in the house for a whole week. Several days with no outside contact was not good for me. My thoughts and doubts continued. The boys were still not well enough to go to church the following Sunday. To be honest, I was ok with that. I didn’t want to go so I stayed home with the boys and continued to sink deeper. Another week passed. We had also missed bible study that Wednesday due to weather. (We had desperately needed to go to the study because Running Man had his own struggles which I had not known about until recently.)

This Sunday (yesterday) arrived. I was doing better but I still didn’t want to go. I definitely didn’t want to go to praise band practice because I had not even picked up my guitar in almost three weeks. But I wanted to want to go to church. So I made the decision to go. That whole morning I was moving in slow motion. I couldn’t get myself going. My husband helped get the kids ready so I could focus on me. I made my way upstairs and said to him,

“I feel like I’m walking through water.”

He looked at me, turned around so that his back was towards me, took my arms and put them around his waist, and said,

“Then hold on to me and I’ll swim for you.”


Now he kinda said it in jest but it meant so much to me. Because, in truth, he does just that. He has “carried” me through many depressive states, held me during panic attacks, and stuck with me during my out bursts. I just have to say that God made a truly perfect match for me. Because He made me, He knew who I would become.  So He knew that Running Man would be the man to stick by me through all my crazy.

My husband is a true blessing.